13 Reasons Your New Marriage Won’t Last

Think your new marriage is built to last? It might not be. Nearly 16 million people 65 years and older in the United States live solo. The reasons vary from changing attitude toward marriage to economic gains of women. “Happily ever after” isn’t guaranteed, especially in those early years. If you’re looking for reasons new marriages fail, you’ve come to the right place. Baby Boomers have a unique perspective on marital problems, having witnessed their share of successes and failures. Here are 13 danger signs that could mean your new marriage is on shaky ground.

1. You Never Resolved Issues Before Saying “I Do”

Swept those nagging problems under the rug before the wedding? They’re still there, waiting to trip you up. Unresolved baggage from past relationships or personal issues can fester, creating resentment and sabotaging your fresh start. Remember, open communication and actively addressing issues lay a stronger foundation for your new marriage.

2. You’re Fighting The Same Old Battles

Healthy couples disagree but find ways to compromise and reach resolutions. If you’re stuck in repetitive arguments with no end in sight, be aware. It signals a lack of communication in your new marriage. The honeymoon phase is probably fading faster than your wedding tan. Don’t lose those early days to repetitive conflict.

3. Your Partner Is Keeping Secrets

Secrets, whether it’s hidden debt, infidelity concerns, or a wandering eye, destroy trust. They’re some of the reasons new marriages fail. Boomers know that trust is the bedrock of a strong marriage, essential for facing those inevitable life challenges. If it’s shaky, trouble is brewing.

4. You Don’t Share the Same Life Goals

Dreaming of a sailboat and world travel while your partner craves a cozy house and grandkids? Mismatched desires can lead to a lifetime of disappointments and “what ifs.” Discuss your long-term goals early on to avoid those potential pitfalls in a new marriage.

5. You Can’t Stop Comparing Your Marriage

Social media is a double-edged sword. Avoid the trap of comparing your imperfect reality to the highlight reel of others – those curated snapshots create unrealistic expectations and undermine the uniqueness of your bond.

6. The Romance Has Fizzled

The early passion can cool over the years, but don’t let the flame die! Prioritize quality time, physical touch, and intentional acts that show you still care. Nurturing the romance is a must for keeping that spark alive in your new marriage.

7. You’re Not a Team Anymore

Marriage is a partnership, but life can make it feel one-sided. When decisions are made unilaterally, and resentment sets in, the marriage shifts dangerously. Communicate decisions, especially major ones, to maintain that sense of teamwork.

8. You’re Taking Each Other for Granted

After a while, it’s easy to lose sight of all your partner does. This is one of the reasons why new marriages fail. Expressing gratitude and appreciation reminds you why you fell in love and prevents taking each other for granted.

9. You’ve Lost Yourselves in the Marriage

Supporting each other’s dreams is vital. But don’t abandon your own hobbies and interests – a healthy marriage needs two whole individuals to thrive. Maintaining your own identity keeps your marriage fresh and exciting.

10. You’re Not Communicating Effectively

Misunderstandings happen, but left unresolved, they poison relationships. Are you actively listening to each other? Do you express your needs directly and with kindness? Good communication is the lifeblood of any marriage, especially a new one.

11. You’re Drifting Apart

Jobs, kids, and life’s whirlwind can create distance between any couple. Do you make time for meaningful conversations, not just the logistics of day-to-day living? Intentional connection prevents drifting apart.

12. You’re Holding On to Grudges

Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s a gift you give yourself. Old wounds won’t heal without conscious effort. Consider therapy if letting go feels impossible alone to prevent destructive grudges from poisoning your marriage.

13. External Stressors Are Taking Their Toll

Financial woes, job loss, or difficult family situations can strain even the strongest bond. Openly discuss how these challenges affect you both, and seek support together. Don’t underestimate how weathering challenges together can deepen your connection.

Remember, It’s Not Too Late

These warning signs shouldn’t discourage you. Boomers are experts at reinvention, and the same applies to relationships! Recognizing potential problems is the first step towards a stronger, more resilient marriage. Open communication, honesty, and a willingness to seek help (like couples counseling) can make all the difference in ensuring your new marriage has the foundation to last.

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By: Randell Suba
Title: 13 Reasons Your New Marriage Won’t Last
Sourced From: www.dinksfinance.com/2024/04/13-reasons-your-new-marriage-wont-last/
Published Date: Wed, 24 Apr 2024 19:35:50 +0000

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